Tuesday, March 11, 2014
The Little Things
We've all experienced small, embarrassing moments that have affected us in a negative way. All my life I've been very shy and easily embarrassed. I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be, but I'm gonna tell you some of my shy moments when I was growing up and how it has affected me over the years.
When I was 5 years-old, I had a dark pink coat with white fur on the hood. One night, I was walking up to my front door after getting home from somewhere and my mom said that I looked like a bunny rabbit with my hood up. There was nothing wrong with what she said or how she said it, but for some reason it just embarrassed me so much that I never wore my hood up again until I was in my late teens.
When I was 6, we left the church we were going to and went to a different one. It was my first time meeting someone, and he reached out to shake my hand. Instead of just shaking his hand, I hid behind my mom and wouldn't look at him. Afterward, I felt bad that I didn't and I was afraid that I had hurt his feelings. Unfortunately, that didn't spur me on to try shaking hands with anyone, and I still didn't until I was a 9 or 10.
Growing up, I was (and still am) very affectionate. But I didn't feel free to go up to someone them a hug. It seemed like every time I tried something would happen to ruin the moment. Every time. When I was 5 or 6, we were getting our picture taken as a family and I was going to sit on Dad's lap. But when I sat down he grimaced in pain. It scared me and I felt so bad. After that I never sat on anyone's lap again. Sometimes, when I think about it, I feel like crying. I sure missed out on things because of stupid little things that have happened to me. I'm still shy about making the first move, and I wait for someone else to.
One time, when I was 8 or 9, I was at somebody's house and my friend was there. Sometimes we would watch a movie when there was nothing else to do. Well, my friend told me to ask if we could watch something. So I did. She said no. OH MY WORD! MY LIFE IS OVER! SHE SAID NO!! I'm only kidding. That was not my response at all. I was very embarrassed though. I still don't know why. After that, I always had my sister Rebecca ask for permission for things. And I mean always. I didn't start asking people for permission to do things until I was in my mid teens. (That does not mean I went around doing what I wanted, just that Rebecca always did the asking instead of me).
When I was 15 or 16, my mom shook hands with someone and afterwards she told me that the woman's hands were clammy. I realized my hands were clammy a lot. Now every time I know I'm gonna have to shake someone's hand, my fingers automatically get sweaty.
I've always been kind of shy around men. When I was 5 or 6, we were getting ready to leave my aunt's house and we were saying good-bye. I had already hugged my aunt and cousin Leona. Then, my mom told me to hug my cousin Donald too. Rebecca did. I wasn't afraid of him, but I was so shy and embarrassed for whatever reason. I didn't end up hugging him, and didn't until years later. "Sorry, Donald!" I feel bad about that now, and of course I hug him now.
Okay, so those are some of my shy moments when I was growing up. My questions this week are:
What were some of your shy moments growing up? Were you able to relate to any of the ones I shared today? Can you think of any advice to overcome shyness?
Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it, and I will be back next week with another blog post.